
Altoona's BEST Hotel? IHG's Hidden Gem Revealed!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to get the REAL lowdown on Altoona's "BEST Hotel?" IHG's so-called "Hidden Gem." Let's just say, I've seen better. And I've definitely seen worse. This is going to be a messy, honest, and hopefully, helpful review, warts and all.
Let's Dive In, Shall We? (SEO IS KEY!)
We're talking Altoona Hotels, specifically this IHG property. So, SEO-wise, we're covering our bases. Accessible Hotels Altoona, Altoona PA Hotel Reviews, Hotels with Pools Altoona, and, of course, things like Best Hotels in Altoona are all in play here.
First Impressions & Accessibility – The Grand Entrance (Or Lack Thereof…)
Okay, so the exterior. It’s… there. Not exactly knocking your socks off. Think… well, a hotel. It has a sign. It has parking. Car park [free of charge]: check. Car park [on-site]: check. Exterior corridor…yep. But let's be honest – curb appeal isn't exactly their strong suit.
Accessibility is a BIG deal for me. I'm always looking for hotels that actually care. And this is where things get… mixed. Elevator: check. Facilities for disabled guests: Present, but let's be real, I didn't personally see every inch to confirm optimal usage. Wheelchair accessible: I'm getting a "yes" on paper, but I didn't roll through it. CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property… good, I guess. Makes me feel a little safer, but I'm not exactly thrilled about being watched.
Inside the Realm of Comfort? (Rooms, Glorious Rooms!)
So, finally in the room! Air conditioning? Check! Air conditioning in the public area is good. Available in all rooms, even better. The room itself… it was clean! Cleanliness and safety: I'd say they are doing their best, especially with today's standards. Rooms sanitized between stays. Anti-viral cleaning products… hopefully, they use them well!
- Air conditioning – Thank god. Altoona summers are brutal.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – Seriously, a MUST. Internet access – wireless is essential in today's world. I'm tethered to my phone on the road, which is awesome, and terrible.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential for a morning crank like myself.
- Refrigerator: Always appreciated for a sneaky late-night snack.
- Desk, Laptop workspace: Needed for work, or at least pretending to be working!
- Blackout curtains: LIFE SAVER.
- Non-smoking rooms: Thank you, IHG, for the modern amenities!
- Separate shower/bathtub: Luxury!
- Linens: Soft enough? We'll see. Some of them have smelled like they've gone through a war.
Now for the juicy stuff: Amenities and the quest for relaxation!
Things to do, ways to relax:
- Swimming pool [outdoor]. Okay, here's where things get interesting. The pool area… wasn't exactly a tropical paradise. Think… functional. They had a Pool with view, mostly of the parking lot. It was clean, thankfully, and the water was a decent temperature.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I didn't use it, but it existed.
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Massage. NO. Unless you count the vigorous rubbing you do in the shower after a long drive.
- Breakfast - this is where it got messy.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Gut Reaction Zone!)
Restaurants, Bar: The hotel is probably not a "foodie" destination.
- Breakfast [buffet] - The Breakfast was. Let's just say, my expectations were low, and they were met. Breakfast [buffet] - I went in, I looked at the sad spread of what might be food, and decided to pass. Breakfast takeaway service was offered. Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: I did not see Asian here. I saw something vaguely Western.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Snacks, Snack bar, Poolside bar: Again, underwhelming.
- Room service [24-hour]: Always a plus when you're running on empty.
Safety and Cleanliness – Keeping It Real (Or Trying To)
Cleanliness and safety: This is a HUGE deal, especially now.
- Hand sanitizer, – Present, thank god.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Hopefully.
- Cashless payment service: Always a win.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: I hope so.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: A nice touch, for those who want it.
Services and Conveniences – The Nitty Gritty (and the "meh")
Services and conveniences:
- Concierge, Doorman - No.
- Contactless check-in/out: Hopefully.
- Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Ironing service: Yep.
- Luggage storage: Good for early arrival or late departures.
- Convenience store: Didn't see one.
- Food delivery: I’m assuming they allow this.
For the Kids (The Tiny Humans' Perspective)
Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I didn’t see them.
Getting Around (The "How Do I Get Out of Here?")
Getting around:
- Airport transfer: None for my stay.
- Taxi service: Yep.
- Car power charging station: Nope.
The Big Takeaway: The Emotional Rollercoaster
Honestly, I'm on the fence. It's not a bad hotel. It's just… meh. You're not getting the Ritz, but it’s a roof and a place to rest your weary head. Cleanliness was a definite plus, but everything else was just. there. This could be a solid option for a quick overnight if you're passing through.
My Unsolicited, Opinionated Offer (And Why You Should Consider Staying, Maybe)
Okay, here's the deal. For anyone looking for a functional place to stay in Altoona, this IHG property might be worth a look. It delivers on the basics. It might be good in a pinch.
Why Book Now (Or Maybe Not…)
- Good: Clean Rooms and the Basics - Especially if you're driving through at a price that doesn't make you weep.
- Good: Free Wi-Fi, Coffee/tea maker.
- Bad: The lack of excitement when it comes to the food.
- Bad: The pool area isn't exactly a tropical paradise.
- Ugly: Depends on your expectations.
So, should you book? If you’re after a no-frills stay, and you're not expecting a resort experience, it's worth considering. If you're a discerning traveler who craves luxury? Probably not. But hey, sometimes, "okay" is good enough. Just go in with your eyes slightly open.
Escape to Paradise: The Evergreen Hotel Awaits (US)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups. We're diving headfirst into my planned chaos – a trip to the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Altoona-Des Moines by IHG. Don't judge my life choices. Blame the sale prices and the need for a staycation. Here we go:
Day 1: Arrival, Anticipation, and Questionable Pizza Choices.
- 2:00 PM (ish) - Arrival & Check-In: Okay, deep breaths. Google Maps claims this place is easy to find. Famous last words, right? I mean, I'm notorious for getting lost in my own driveway. Checked in, (praying they don't give me a room near the ice machine… that infernal racket!) The front desk lady, bless her soul, seemed used to the slightly glazed-over look of weary travelers like myself. She handed me my key card and a smile. So far, so good. "Welcome!" she chirped, like she actually meant it!
- 2:30 PM (ish) - Room Reconnaissance & Initial Freak-Out: Found the room. It's… decent. Cleanish. The remote works! (Major win!). Took a good fifteen minutes just to inspect everything. Bed? Okay. Pillows? Fluffy enough, I guess. Bathroom? Praying to all known deities for good water pressure in the shower. The little shampoo bottles never open properly. UGH! Why is that ALWAYS the first thing that gets me riled up in a hotel room?!
- 3:30 PM - The Great Pizza Debacle: Decided, against my better judgement, to order pizza. This local place, "Pizza Paradise" or something equally generic, had decent reviews. The delivery guy was late! He also looked like he hadn't slept in three days, and the pizza box was… slightly crushed. The pizza itself? A greasy, sad, mess. The crust tasted like cardboard. I ate two slices out of sheer hunger and now I already feel like I'm going to regret it.
- 5:00 PM - The Swimming Pool… of Dubious Cleanliness: Look, I tried to be optimistic. The pool looked… okay in the photos. In reality? Slightly cloudy water, and a lingering aroma of over-chlorination. I dipped my toes in, felt a phantom itch, and noped right back out. Maybe tomorrow. After a deep cleaning. Maybe after I've had a glass of wine.
- 6:00 PM - Unfurling the Battle Plan: I'm now trying to watch TV, but the options are just… endless, which means no options at all. I ended up watching some reality show about people decluttering their homes and felt both inspired and depressed. I also started plotting tomorrow's adventures. This is the point where I realize I'm probably over-planning, but that's just how I roll. I need to have a list, because left to my own devices, I'll sit in this room, order more bad pizza (because, you know, convenience) and spend the entire trip staring at the ceiling.
- 8:00 PM - Sleep or the Sleep-Deprived: Okay, I'm already tired, the pizza and the chlorine aroma are not helping. I will try to sleep, but I know for a fact, I will wake up at dawn and have to get myself to breakfast.
Day 2: The Great Outdoors (and The Hotel Breakfast, of Course).
- 7:00 AM (ish) - Dawn's Early Light & The Breakfast Buffet Shuffle: Woke up, despite my best efforts. Decided to brave the breakfast buffet. Armed myself with a tiny plate and a desperate hope for edible sustenance. The usual suspects were there: rubbery scrambled eggs, sad little sausages, and those tiny, individually wrapped muffins that always taste suspiciously like plastic. But… they had instant oatmeal! Victory! Managed to choke back two bowls, pretending the slightly gritty texture was just "rustic charm."
- 8:00 AM - Exploring! (Maybe!) Okay, so I was supposed to be doing some "exploring." There's a park, a trail…something adventurous. I just went back to my room and scrolled through my phone. I thought about exploring the area, but I got distracted…by the TV. The siren call of pointless television is powerful. I also spent way too long trying to figure out a decent coffee shop near the hotel but couldn't.
- 10:00 AM - The Pursuit of Caffeine!: The one thing that could fix any situation. It's just the best. There's a Starbucks not too far. I made it a goal to go there and get coffee.
- 11:00 AM - Check Out (Finally!): It's time to go.
Overall Assessment:
This trip was… a mixed bag. The pizza was awful. The pool was questionable. But hey, I survived. And maybe, just maybe, I'll actually get around to exploring the area next time. Or, you know, learn to make my own pizza.
Escape to Luxury: Revel Hotel Des Moines' Unforgettable Getaway
Altoona's BEST Hotel? IHG's Hidden Gem Revealed! (And My Brain Explodes a Little Trying to Explain It)
Okay, Okay, Spill It! What Makes This IHG Hotel... *The* Hotel in Altoona?
Is the Bed Actually Comfortable? (Asking for a Friend... Me.)
What About the Breakfast You Keep Blabbering About? Specifically... What Kind of Pancakes Did You Get?
Any Downsides? Because, You Know, Reality…
Is it Kid-Friendly? Because, You Know, Tiny Humans...
Okay, I’m Convinced. Where Do I Book This Place? And What's the *Real* Name?
What About Parking? Easy or a Nightmare?
Is There Anywhere Cool to Go Nearby?
Anything Else I Should Know?

