Chekhov's Hidden Gem: The Hotel That Will Steal Your Heart (Russia)
Chekhov's Hidden Gem: A Review That Might Actually Help You (and Probably Won't!)
Alright, folks, buckle up. I've just returned from what I can only describe as a journey to Chekhov's Hidden Gem (let's be real, that name is a little much, right?). This isn't your usual, sterile hotel review. I'm going to give you the raw, unvarnished truth, even if that means revealing my secret love of extra-long beds (don't judge!). This is for the real travelers, the ones who are less interested in perfect and more interested in, well, life.
Accessibility: The Good, the (Maybe) Okay, and the "Hmmm…"
Let's kick things off with the nitty-gritty. Accessibility, you ask? Okay, here's the deal. They say they have facilities for disabled guests. The elevator is a definite plus (that's a HUGE deal), and I saw room decorations, so that's good. But… specifics? I didn't get a chance to REALLY dig in. I think it's one of those situations where you'd want to specifically call ahead and confirm what's available. Don't just take my word (or this rambling review) for it!
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: This is where my notes get a little… vague. The website promises a restaurant, a bar, and a poolside bar. Finding out how "accessible" any of those are demands some investigation. Check before you book if you need details here.
Wheelchair Accessible: See above. Definitely inquire directly if this is a must-have.
Internet & Digital Nomads! (Because, Let's Be Honest, We All Need It)
Internet? They've got it. Pretty much everywhere. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! This is a huge win. I mean, a HUGE win, especially if you're like me and accidentally spend way too much time on Instagram comparing vacation photos. And listen, the Internet access – wireless was decent, though I have to admit, I needed a good connection to upload my "epic" sunset shots, so this is absolutely a priority, and for the most part, the Internet [LAN] was pretty stable…I think. If you really need speed for a virtual work meeting the Internet services should be great.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (Or Try To)
Okay, this is where things get juicy. They've got a Fitness center, a pool with a view, a Sauna, a Spa, a Steamroom, a Swimming pool [outdoor], a Massage, and a Body scrub and Body wrap. Holy moly! That’s a lot of ways to pretend you're a sophisticated world traveler!
I spent way too much time in the Sauna (it was glorious, I'd been stuck in a car for 15 hours), but the Pool with a view was just…wow. I can't even describe it without launching into a rambling description of the Russian countryside. But trust me; it's worth it, and it's worth the "I need this now, please" reaction. That pool? Heaven.
They also have a Gym/fitness room. This is where I am at peace because I could eat all the deserts in the desserts in restaurant because, and I quote "The gym is here to stay, baby!"
Cleanliness and Safety: Surviving the Pandemic (And Hopefully Enjoying the Trip!)
Let's be real, we're all a little paranoid these days, right? Cleanliness and safety is a big deal. The good news? They seem to take it seriously. They used anti-viral cleaning products, did daily disinfection in common areas, and offered hand sanitizer everywhere.
They also had individually-wrapped food options (which is a relief), and rooms sanitized between stays. You even had the option to have room sanitization opt-out available (if you're into that). Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items… Honestly, they seem to cover all the bases.
Oh, and the Staff? They're staff trained in safety protocol. I also loved that they had a First aid kit and a Doctor/nurse on call.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Adventure (or the Nap)
Okay, food. This is where the review really gets subjective. They boast Asian cuisine in restaurant, (they also have International cuisine in restaurant!), and a Vegetarian restaurant. There are Restaurants and a Coffee shop, a Poolside bar and a Snack bar.
The breakfast. Oh, the breakfast. They offer Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, and Breakfast service! I opted for the Breakfast in room, and it came as a pleasant surprise. I have to say, the Coffee/tea in restaurant was amazing. I mean, I wish I could just have the barista at the coffee shop come to my place every day, so that says a lot.
They even have a Bottle of water in your room! It doesn't sound like much, but after sitting on one extra-long bed and scrolling for hours on Instagram, the water was a total lifesaver.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference
They have a Concierge, a Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Laundry service, and Luggage storage. All the usual suspects. The Air conditioning was crucial.
Rooms: My Kingdom for an Extra-Long Bed!
Okay, let's talk about the actual rooms. Available in all rooms? Additional toilet? Air conditioning? Alarm clock? Bathrobes? Bathroom phone? Bathtub? Blackout curtains? (Important, if you're planning on that epic nap after the sauna!) Carpeting? Closet? Coffee/tea maker? Complimentary tea? Daily housekeeping? Desk? Extra long bed? (YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!)
Seriously. I want to move in. The Extra long bed was the highlight for me. It brought tears to my eyes! Okay, maybe not tears, but it was a game changer. Also, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Minibar, Mirror, Non-smoking, and Private bathroom. Pretty standard stuff, but all good.
For the Kids: Keeping the Little People Happy (Or at Least Occupied)
They have Babysitting service and are Family/child friendly. They also have Kids meal, so you can at least worry about a little less while you are enjoying yourself.
Getting Around:
Airport transfer: Check!. Car park [free of charge]: Double check!.
My Over-the-Top Recommendation (Because You Deserve It!)
Look, this place isn't perfect. It has its quirks. But the moment I stepped into that pool, I felt something. It might have been the chlorine, but it was definitely also a feeling of pure relaxation and joy.
Here’s the deal: If you're looking for a generic, soulless hotel experience, this isn't it. But if you're up for a little adventure, a little indulgence, and potentially the best nap of your life (thanks to that Extra long bed!), Chekhov's Hidden Gem is worth a closer look.
The Imperfectly Perfect Offer!
Book your stay at Chekhov's Hidden Gem within the next week and receive:
- A complimentary upgrade (based on availability) – Because, why not? I want a view!
- A voucher for a couples massage (if you're traveling with a couple) – because you deserve it.
- Free breakfast in your room – Because sleep is precious (and who wants to face a buffet before coffee?).
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Okay, buckle up, because this trip to Hotel Chekhov in Russia? It's gonna be a thing. I'm not promising glossy brochures and postcard-perfect moments, just the raw, unfiltered reality of a slightly disorganized (okay, maybe a lot disorganized) human attempting to navigate the soul of Russia. Here goes:
Hotel Chekhov: My Russian Rhapsody (Or Maybe Just a Bit of a Minor Key Tune)
Day 1: Arrival & the Great Uncertainty (aka "Where's the Vodka?")
- 10:00 AM: Arrived at Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport. The air? Crisp. The signage? Cyrillic. My brain? Mostly fried. Finding the baggage claim felt like a quest Indiana Jones would've sneered at. Seriously, how hard is it to find a suitcase carousel? Apparently, very hard when you can't read any of the signs.
- 11:00 AM: Finally, the suitcase! And the taxi driver, who looked like he'd wrestled a bear for breakfast and lost. He mostly grunted, but I think he understood "Hotel Chekhov." The ride… thrilling. Moscow traffic is a contact sport. I swear, I saw a Lada driver reverse into a bus, and everyone just shrugged.
- 12:30 PM: Hotel Chekhov. Okay, this is promising. The lobby… wow. Think elegant disarray. Think a grand piano (that's probably never played), a chandelier that looks like it's seen better days, and a bored-looking desk clerk who reminds me of a grumpy cat. (I later learned her name was Svetlana, and she, in fact, had a soft spot for stray kittens.)
- 1:00 PM: Checked into my room. Ah, the room. It reminded me of my grandmother's attic, but, like, in a good way? A little dusty, a little worn, but full of character! The view, however… mostly a brick wall. But, hey, character! That's what I keep telling myself.
- 2:00 PM: Attempted to find food. Wandered the nearby streets. Got lost. Asked for pizza (because my Russian is limited to "Spasibo" and "Vodka, please"). Ended up with something that looked suspiciously like a deep-fried shoe but tasted surprisingly delish. (Turns out, it was a "pirozhki," a Russian pastry, and I’d stumbled upon a truly authentic little bakery.)
- 6:00 PM: The Vodka Incident. (More on this later. It deserves its own section.)
- 9:00 PM: Exhausted, slightly tipsy, and thoroughly disoriented, I collapsed in my room. Note to self: learn more Russian. And maybe invest in a universal translator… or at least a phrasebook that doesn’t involve just food.
Day 2: Culture Shock (Beautiful, But Mostly Messy)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. The breakfast buffet was… an experience. "What is this, exactly?" I muttered, staring at a pile of something grey and unidentifiable. (Turned out to be “Buckwheat porridge” and actually quite nourishing, once I got over my initial aversion). Coffee? Bitter. But I've had worse. Much worse.
- 10:00 AM: Red Square. Holy moly. The sheer scale of it is breathtaking. St. Basil's Cathedral is even more vibrant in person! Took a ton of photos. Got jostled by a tour group that resembled a herd of brightly colored gazelles. Still, amazing.
- 12:00 PM: The GUM department store. Oh, the irony! GUM, that big, beautiful Soviet-era shopping mall, filled with designer shops that cost more than my house. The people-watching was sublime! There were ladies with so much fur I got suspicious of them, the whole place made me feel like a poor country mouse.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Found a little place. Ordered "borscht." (Red soup. Delicious. I think. Sort of? The beetroot stained my teeth for hours.)
- 2:00 PM: The Kremlin. The sheer weight of history in this place is palpable. The gilded domes, the solemn guards, and the sense of power… Well, let's just say I felt like a tiny, insignificant speck. I nearly face-planted into a fountain.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the hotel, reflecting on the day. My feet hurt. My brain is overflowing. But, it's good. It's messy. It's Russia.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a traditional Russian restaurant. The food was heavy, the music was lively (at least for what I could tell), and I was promptly offered a shot of vodka by a guy named Boris who looked like he could bench-press a small car. I declined. Wisely, I think. (Mostly.)
Day 3: The Vodka Incident… Revisited.
- 9:00 AM: Woke up. Head pounding. Clearly, my "wisely declined" from last night wasn't wise enough.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast. Somehow, I convinced myself that a plate of something that looked like scrambled cement would help. It didn't.
- 10:00 AM: I need to back up. The Vodka Incident. So, on Day 1, after the long trip and the general disorientation, and a desire to overcome my inability to navigate the most basic Russian phrases, I decided to order a vodka. I figured it was a cultural immersion exercise. This was at the tiny, dimly lit bar in the hotel lobby, with the grumpy Svetlana watching me with a look of both amusement and… something else. Pity, maybe?
- 10:15 AM: One shot turned into two. And then… well, I don't exactly remember how many shots. I do recall singing (badly) a few bars of "Kalinka" with a group of Russian businessmen, who looked more charmed than annoyed. This became a regular occurrence
- 10:20 AM: The next thing I'm certain of is waking up with a vague recollection of dancing with Svetlana. (Yes, the grumpy cat from the front desk.) And when I woke up with a throbbing headache on day 3, I began to see the error of my ways.
- 11:00 AM - 5:00 PM: I try to recover. Lots of water. Lots of laying down. Svetlana brought me some herbal tea that tasted like dirt, but she told me it was a traditional Russian remedy. She gave me the side-eye, the same way a mother gives a naughty child. I did ask if I could get a discount in my room, but she's really the only person in the hotel who can actually understand me.
- 6:00 PM: I ventured down to the lobby, ready to apologize to Svetlana. When I was greeted with a knowing smirk and a small bouquet of flowers. "For you," she said. "From the gentlemen and me. And, maybe, a little bit of vodka". She winked.
- 7:00 PM: I decide to visit a museum; anything to get away from the lobby. My head still hurts but I venture out.
Day 4: Further Adventures & Departure (Hopefully Relatively Sober)
- 9:00 AM: Woke up. No hangover! (Miracle!)
- 10:00 AM: Check out of Hotel Chekhov. Said goodbye to Svetlana, who gave me a hug. And a slightly disapproving look.
- 10:30 AM: Taxi to the airport. Smooth ride! (Seriously, after Moscow traffic, everything seems easy.)
- 1:00 PM: Flight departs.
- 7:00 PM: Land back home.
Final Thoughts:
Russia? It's a rollercoaster. It's confusing, chaotic, beautiful, and utterly, utterly unforgettable. Hotel Chekhov? It's a perfect microcosm of the experience. A little rough around the edges, a little eccentric, but full of heart (and, let's be honest, vodka). I wouldn't trade it for all the meticulously planned, perfectly executed trips in the world. And Svetlana? She's the real treasure. I’m not sure I'll ever speak Russian, but I’ll never forget this trip. And, I'm pretty sure I'll be back. Eventually. Probably needing to buy a new liver first.
P.S. If you go, tell Svetlana I said hello. And maybe bring her some chocolate. She seemed to appreciate it. And maybe, just maybe, warn her about the vodka. Just in case.
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Chekhov's Hidden Gem: The Hotel That Will Steal Your Heart (Russia) - Or Will It? A Messy FAQ
Okay, so, *The Hotel That Will Steal Your Heart*… is THAT a massive overpromise, or what? I've seen the pictures, I've read the reviews... am I setting myself up for disappointment?
Listen, let's be honest. The *title*? A bit much. Marketing department, clearly. The *pictures*? Instagram filters, guaranteed. But, and here's the BUT, it's *not* completely off base. Look, my expectations were sky-high. I'd been dreaming of snow-dusted spires and crackling fireplaces for like, six months. I'd spent a small fortune on a 'romantic getaway' wardrobe. (The velvet pantsuit? Regret.) Then reality hit, the travel gods, who are notoriously grumpy, decided to throw everything at me: a delayed flight, a lost suitcase, and a sudden, inexplicable yearning for a McDonalds. But even *through* the jet lag and the "I-look-like-I've-been-dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards" phase, the hotel... it kind of *got* me. It stole a *piece* of my heart, not the whole damn thing. Don't expect perfection, expect… character.
What’s the *best* way to get there? I'm seeing trains, planes, automobiles...and honestly, it's overwhelming!
Ugh, the journey. Right. Okay, here’s my two cents, and bear in mind, it’s probably biased because I took the train. *Mostly* because I have a deep, almost morbid fear of flying. The train, though… It's… an experience. The scenery is phenomenal – assuming you like vast, snowy plains and glimpses of onion-domed churches that vanish as quickly as they appear. The food on the train… well, pack snacks. LOTS of snacks. And a good book. And earplugs. God, the snoring. The *carriages* themselves have a certain… vintage charm. Think less "orient express" and more "slightly-dodgy-but-charming-grandmother's-attic". I'm not sure if I'd go back, but it IS the way to *see* Russia. If you're a masochist with a weak stomach and a love of adventure. (Or you could just fly, you know…)
What are the rooms *actually* like? The website is all flowery language, I suspect. And is it expensive?
Okay, flowery language is an understatement. Let's just cut the crap, shall we? My room? Charming. In a "grandma's-house-after-the-estate-sale" kind of way. The wallpaper was peeling in places, there was a slight musty odor that I *think* was old books, not mold (fingers crossed!), and the view... well, the view was of a slightly overgrown courtyard. But, BUT! The bed was comfy. And the fireplace… that thing was glorious. It actually *worked*. And for the price? Surprisingly reasonable. Definitely not cheap, you’re paying for the… *ambiance* let's say – and the novelty.
How's the plumbing? I have very specific needs, okay?
Oh, the plumbing. Right. Prepare yourself. It's… *functional*. Sometimes. The water pressure fluctuates like the stock market. One minute you're enjoying a blissful shower, the next you're getting a lukewarm dribble. The showerhead? Ancient. I think it predates the revolution. And the drain? Well, let's just say I had a *moment* of panic involving a clogged drain and a lot of hair. It's got… character. That’s the word, isn't it?
Is there wifi? (Gotta stay connected!)
"Wifi" is a big word. "Intermittent wifi" might be more accurate. Expect the signal to vanish if you look at it funny. Or if it feels like it. Prepare to embrace digital detox, or become a master of the 'stand in the hallway with one bar' life style. My advice? Download your entertainment before you arrive. Or, you know, *gasp*, talk to the people you're with.
The food! What’s the deal? I'm a fussy eater...
Okay, the food. This is where it gets… interesting. The hotel restaurant is beautiful, all dark wood and flickering candlelight. The menu? Surprisingly extensive. The *execution*? Variable. The pierogis were amazing – honestly, the best I've *ever* had. The borscht? Hearty and delicious. But the… *chicken*? Let’s just say it had a very definite “barnyard” flavor. The service? The waiters were lovely, but things moved at a glacial pace. Bring a book. And maybe some snacks. And embrace the slightly chaotic, entirely charming experience that is Russian cuisine.
What about the bar? I like a good cocktail (or five).
The bar! That was my happy place. The bartender… a gruff, charismatic old man who seemed to know every local legend and gossip. He poured a mean vodka martini, and the atmosphere was, well, cozy. Think dimly lit, with low conversation, and the occasional burst of laughter. It was also where I met three fascinating people: a retired professor, a woman who claimed to be a spy, and a very drunk accordion player. This is Russia, folks. Prepare to be surprised. Expect the unexpected, especially after a couple of drinks.
So, would you *really* say it "stole your heart"? Honestly.
Okay, so the heart-stealing thing… Look, I didn’t leave with some overwhelming emotional epiphany. I didn't fall in love with the hotel itself, not really. But… I loved the *experience*. There was something about the slightly faded grandeur, the genuinely friendly staff, the utter *lack* of pretension. It's… I don’t know. It’s like a wonky, charming, slightly eccentric relative you're obligated to see once a year. You might be frustrated at times, but you wouldn't *miss* the chaos.Hotel For Travelers
