Leesville's BEST Kept Secret: Express Inn Ft. Johnson Review (You WON'T Believe This!)

Express Inn Leesville Ft Johnson, SureStay Collection by BW United States

Leesville's BEST Kept Secret: Express Inn Ft. Johnson Review (You WON'T Believe This!)

Leesville's BEST Kept Secret: Express Inn Ft. Johnson Review (You WON'T Believe This!) - Prepare to be Surprised!

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the beans on a place that's probably the best-kept secret in Leesville, Louisiana: the Express Inn Ft. Johnson. And listen, I'm not just saying that because I have to. I'm saying it because I actually, genuinely, was surprised. Like, jaw-on-the-floor surprised. I went in with pretty low expectations (you know, Leesville, budget motel, the usual), but I walked out… well, let’s just say I'm already planning my return.

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First Impressions (and the Unexpected Delight!)

The outside? Fine. A little… unassuming. Think classic roadside motel, but clean. But the inside? That’s where the magic started. The front desk staff? Super friendly. Not that fake, forced friendliness. Genuinely, helpful, nice people. They even offered me a bottle of water! (Remember, folks, Free bottled water is a win in my book, especially after a long drive!). Their 24-hour front desk is a lifesaver, by the way.

Accessibility & Practicalities (Don't Skip These!)

Okay, let's get the boring stuff out of the way first. Accessibility: They have facilities for disabled guests, which is fantastic if you need it. Elevator: there is one. Car park [on-site] and it's free of charge, which is a major bonus. Parking is free of charge – love it!. Daily housekeeping: Yes! Thank goodness. Laundry service: available. Cash withdrawal (convenient!). Convenience store: Yep.

The Wi-Fi Saga (Because It's 2024!)

Alright, this is important. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! And not just kinda free. It was actually, you know, functional. I could actually stream Netflix without wanting to hurl my laptop out the window. (That's a low bar, I know, but you'd be surprised how many hotels still struggle with this.) Internet access – wireless also worked perfectly in my room. Also, there is Internet access – LAN.

My Room: A Surprisingly Stylish Sanctuary

Now, I booked a regular (not “Couple's room" or "Family/child friendly" by the by) room, so nothing fancy. But the room… surprisingly, was really, really pleasant. The Air conditioning was cranking (essential in Louisiana!), the Blackout curtains were actually blackout curtains (hallelujah!), and the Coffee/tea maker actually worked! (These small victories are the reason I am staying here.) The whole thing was actually clean which brings me another point: Cleanliness and safety. I found no sign of any untoward incidents.

I also had an extra long bed. I appreciated that! Non-smoking rooms are available, which is a must for me. The Refrigerator, Hair dryer, complimentary tea, and daily housekeeping are real wins. The desk was functional; I'm a writer, I need a desk.

Okay, here's a confession: I have a love-hate relationship with hotel bathrooms. This one wasn't amazing, but it was clean and functional. And let's be real: I'm not looking for a spa experience in budget motel. The shower worked, the toiletries were decent, and most importantly, there was hot water.

Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Because We All Need Fuel!)

Okay, here's where things are a little… complex. There’s no full-blown restaurant on site. However, the hotel offers a Breakfast [buffet]. It was…adequate. But I needed coffee and they did have it, so that was a win. I should note that I also appreciated the Breakfast takeaway service, since I don’t always have time to sit down and enjoy breakfast. If I had a chance, I'd take advantage of the Coffee shop and the Poolside bar that comes with the Swimming pool.

Things to Do: The Pools and the Spa (Kind Of)

There's an outdoor swimming pool which is actually really nice! It wasn’t massive, but it was clean and the water looked inviting. There's also a Gym/fitness centre, sauna, which I didn't use but saw. I should note that there is potential for a Spa/sauna.

Safety and Security (Because We All Care About This!)

They take safety seriously which is excellent news. There is both CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property. Smoke alarms are in every room, of course. Fire extinguisher should be there. Security [24-hour] is great too.

The Quirks and the Little Things that Make a Difference

• They have an Ironing service, so I didn't have to look like a crumpled mess at my meeting.
• They have a Car park [free of charge] - no hidden fees here!
• The location is great – close to everything in Leesville, including Ft. Johnson.
• They have essential condiments. Little things like this make a difference, right?

The Drawbacks (Because Honesty!)

• The breakfast buffet, while functional, wasn't exactly gourmet. But hey, it's free!
• No on-site restaurant means you'll have to go out for dinner.

Final Verdict: Believe the Hype!

Listen, the Express Inn Ft. Johnson isn’t the Ritz-Carlton. But for the price, the cleanliness, the friendly service, and the overall comfort? It’s a winner. It's a truly budget-friendly stay. It's an honest, comfortable, and surprisingly well-run motel. It's the best kind of secret – one you want to share. I give it a solid 4 out of 5 stars, and I'll definitely be back.

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The Offer: Your Escape to Leesville Awaits!

Ready to experience Leesville and Ft. Johnson? Book your stay at the Express Inn Ft. Johnson now and receive:

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• Complimentary Breakfast (because who doesn't love free food?)
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Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this ain't gonna be your cookie-cutter travel plan. This is going to be a messy, honest, and probably slightly hysterical account of my whirlwind stay at the ahem "Express Inn Leesville Ft Johnson, SureStay Collection by BW" (try saying that three times fast after a complimentary continental breakfast).

The Leesville Debacle: A Slightly Unhinged Itinerary

Day 1: Arrival, Apprehension, and the Quest for Clean Sheets (Wish Me Luck)

• 14:00 (ish): Arrive at Leesville, LA. My rental car smells faintly of stale french fries and existential dread. (Side note: Why do rental cars always smell like someone just had a particularly tragic fast-food experience?) The drive was soul-crushing, endless highway, and I started questioning all my life choices.
• 14:30: Locate the Express Inn. Let's be honest, the exterior doesn't exactly scream "luxury." More like, "We have a pool! (Probably full of leaves)." The welcome sign, slightly askew, feels like a personal affront.
• 14:45: Check-in. The front desk person is… well, let's say they've seen things. Like, really seen things in their time. They hand me a key card that looks older than I am, and I brace myself.
• 15:00: The Room Reveal. Bingo! Here we go. It's… compact. The carpet has a vaguely floral pattern that's seen better days, and the television is a relic from the cathode-ray tube era. Do they even sell those anymore?! My initial emotion? Mild panic quickly followed by a deep, sigh-inducing resignation. I mean, what did I expect? The SureStay Collection name should have foreshadowed the chaos.
• 15:15: The Sheet Crisis: The sheets! Oh, the sheets. I do the mandatory "sheet check," and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. A suspicious stain (I'm praying it's just coffee) and what looks to be a collection of stray hairs. (Shudders) I am too tired to head back to the front desk. I will endure.
• 16:00: Pool Recon: This is where my inner-child comes out. I venture outside and give the pool a quick "once over." Ah, yes, confirmation. Leaves. So… many… leaves! The water has that cloudy, vaguely green hue that's not exactly inviting. Decide to skip the refreshing dip and settle for people-watching.
• 16:30: Snacks and Contemplation: Found a dollar store and the junk food that will get me through this. I will be eating chips, that will now be my dinner. I am, however, very, very thrilled to have some good books with me.
• 19:00: Dinner: (Chips, see above). Seriously thinking about ordering pizza.
• 20:00: TV Time. Flip through the channels. Land on a show about… well, I’m not sure. Something about a guy with a mullet and a lot of alligators. Leesville, you are a neverending source of amusement.
• 21:00: Attempt sleep. Pray, Sleep, and get ready to do it all again tomorrow!

Day 2: Fort Polk, Existential Dread, and the Great Breakfast Debacle

• 07:00: Wake up, already regretting the chips. Curse the stained sheets and start to question all life choices again.
• 07:30: The Free Continental Breakfast. The moment of truth. I cautiously approach the buffet, armed with low expectations. Coffee is lukewarm and weak. The "scrambled eggs" defy all known culinary science. They have the texture of rubber, the color of… well, let's just say it's not appetizing. The bagels, however, are surprisingly edible, and I make a mental note to stock up on those.
• 08:00: Off to explore Fort Polk. I'm pretty sure this is the main reason I'm even in Leesville. I try to be respectful of the soldiers and find the whole experience… complicated. Lots of drills, lots of camouflage, and a deeply unsettling feeling that I'm completely out of my depth. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or terrified. Probably both.
• 12:00: Lunch at a local diner. Found a diner with a decent burger that soothed my nerves.
• 13:00: Back to the Hotel: Spend the afternoon wandering through the hotel, avoiding the pool.
• 16:00: I think I'm going to start making a list of all the things I want to do when I get home.
• 19:00: TV, chips, and existential thoughts.
• 21:00: Sleep - probably.

Day 3: Departure and Reflections (Or, the Moment I Ran for My Life)

• 07:00: Wake up, still alive! (A small victory!) The sheets haven't staged a revolt yet.
• 07:30: Breakfast: Bagel round two. This time, I'm adding a generous dollop of cream cheese. I am a creature of habit now.
• 08:00: Last look around the room. One final "sheet check" (they remained defiantly stained). Gather all the possessions and hope I can get out of here without a hitch.
• 08:30: Checkout. The front desk person is still there, looking as world-weary as ever. Hand over the key card and make a hasty exit.
• 09:00: I bolt for the car. I'm free! I'm out! It's time to celebrate my freedom with a decent cup of coffee and a road trip playlist that doesn't feature any songs about mullets or alligators.
• 10:00: Departure: Goodbye, Leesville! You were… an experience. A slightly unsettling, frequently confusing, and surprisingly memorable experience. I'll never forget the stained sheets, the rubber eggs, and the feeling of being slightly out of my depth.
• 11:00: On the road. I take this time to reflect on my time in Leesville. I'm not sure if I can say that I enjoyed my stay at the Express Inn, but I can definitely say it was… unique. It was raw, and real. It was as far from a curated Instagram travel post as humanly possible. And you know what? Maybe that's exactly what I needed.
• Ongoing: Start planning my next adventure. Maybe somewhere with cleaner sheets. And better coffee.

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Leesville's "Best Kept Secret"... or Just a Secret? Express Inn Ft. Johnson FAQs (You WON'T Believe This!)

Okay, spill the beans! Is the Express Inn *really* Leesville's "Best Kept Secret"? Because that sounds... ambitious.

Alright, alright, settle down, folks. "Best Kept Secret" is a loaded phrase, isn't it? The truth? It depends. Depends on your expectations, your tolerance for... character, and your desperation level for a cheap night's sleep. Let's just say, it's *memorable*. My first impression? A wave of... *something*... hit me the moment I walked in. Sort of a musty, floral, and faintly "old fries" aroma. Not a dealbreaker, mind you. I've smelled worse after a particularly enthusiastic chili cook-off. But, "Best Kept Secret"? Perhaps "Secretly Available"?

So, the rooms? What's the *real* tea on the rooms?

Ah, the rooms. Okay, picture this: a room. A *hotel* room, specifically. Now, add a healthy dose of... lived-in-ness. My first room? Let’s just say the carpet had seen things. *Lots* of things. I’m pretty sure it could tell you the entire history of Leesville, one spilled soft drink stain at a time. The bed? Surprisingly comfy, actually. I swear, that mattress was a relic of a bygone era, but it cradled me like a well-worn teddy bear. The TV? Analog, baby! Remember those? Finding a channel that *wasn't* fuzzy was a victory. And the bathroom… well, the water pressure was like a firehose, albeit a slightly rusty one. But hey, at least it *worked*! (And the towels…they were…towels.)

Is it clean? Be honest! (And please, don't sugarcoat it.)

Look, let's cut the crap. Clean? Look, it's not a five-star resort. Let's just say this: I've stayed in *much* cleaner places, and I've stayed in *much* dirtier. The housekeeping staff, bless their hearts, clearly do their best. My room wasn't what you'd call sparkling, but it wasn't actively *trying* to kill me. I do remember seeing… a tiny, shriveled lemon slice on the nightstand. No idea from where it came, but it’s still there. A testament to its resilience. It's an adventure. Bring your own Clorox wipes. You'll be fine. Probably.

What about the staff? Friendly? Rude? Somewhere in between?

The staff? Ah, the staff. They’re…characters. I'm talking about the kind of people who've seen it all, heard it all, and probably *smelled* it all. The front desk guy? He could be straight from a movie. He might look a little tired, a little world-weary, but he's generally pretty helpful. He'll offer you a smile, a keycard, and maybe a wink (if you're lucky). I had a problem with my TV once - it was stuck on a channel featuring a never ending infomercial about… *something*. He came up, fiddled for about 30 seconds, and then just gave up. He shrugged, said "Welcome to Ft. Johnson," and I just…accepted it. True Leesville spirit, that is.

Is the location convenient? What's around the hotel?

Location is a plus, I must say! It's *right there* near Ft. Johnson. That matters. You can stumble out of the room, practically, and be on base. As for what's around...let's just say it's a quintessential American small town. You have your fast food joints, dollar stores, and a couple of interesting local restaurants. Finding a grocery store? You're generally covered. Need a late-night snack? Well, you are gonna walk to one of the aforementioned establishments. The general atmosphere is sleepy and quiet (except when the military decides to do training exercises at 3 AM, which...happens).

Breakfast. They *claim* to have breakfast. Is it edible? Is it worth waking up for? Spill!

Okay, the dreaded breakfast. This is, without a doubt, the weakest link. It's continental, which means...well, minimal fuss, minimal effort. Think pre-packaged pastries that are somehow both rock-hard and suspiciously soft. They have some cereal. There's instant coffee. The juice tastes vaguely of orange-flavored chemicals. There might, occasionally, be some sad, shriveled-up fruit. Honestly? Skip it. Head to one of the previously mentioned fast food places nearby. Seriously, you'll thank me.

Let's talk *specific* experience. Give me a story. Something that *really* happened.

Alright, buckle up. This is a story, or, if you prefer, a "moment in Express Inn history," if you will. It’s about the plumbing. Specifically, the *water*. One trip, I was having a shower. Normal enough, right? Then, the water pressure *vanished*. Like, *poof*. Gone. I stood there, covered in soap, staring at the showerhead, waiting… and waiting… and *waiting*. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a trickle appeared. A sad, lonely trickle. I spent, what felt like, an hour completing the soapy shower, all the while shivering in the cold. Once I was done, I had to dry off with *a single towel*, the hotel being out of towels. The next morning, I told the same front desk fellow. Without blinking, he said, "Yeah, the pipes. They do that sometimes." And that was it. Just a casual, "the pipes do what they want". The most Leesville thing ever.

Should I stay there? Is it worth it? Give us a definitive answer!

Look, I'm not going to lie. The Express Inn Ft. Johnson is not for everyone. *If* you’re looking for luxury, pristine cleanliness, or impeccable service, run. Run far, run fast. But... if you’re on a budget, if you're an adventurer (maybe not of the squeamish sort) and you appreciate a little...character... it could be your jam. It's got a certain… *charm*. It’s a place where you'll probably make a story, maybe even be able to laugh about it later. Just go in with your eyes open, a sense of humor, and maybe a healthy dose of disinfectant wipes. Would I stay there again? Honestly? Probably. It's an experience, and who needs a boring hotel when you can have *this*? (Just pack an extra towel.)

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