Escape to Iron Mountain: Your Dream Stay Awaits at Holiday Inn Express!
Escape to Iron Mountain: Your Dream Stay Awaits…Maybe? A Holiday Inn Express Review (With a Sprinkle of Chaos)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Holiday Inn Express in Iron Mountain. And trust me, after surviving a family vacation, I need this. This ain't your cookie-cutter review; it's the raw, unfiltered truth, seasoned with a healthy dose of my questionable life choices. So, here we go…
First Impressions & Accessibility - Or, My Near-Death Experience with an Elevator:
Finding the place was, well, an adventure. GPS was like, "Yeah, you're close…but also, good luck." Finally, after a minor existential crisis in a gravel parking lot, I stumbled upon it. The exterior? Clean, predictable, your standard Holiday Inn Express. But hey, at this point, I'm just happy to have found civilization.
- Accessibility: Okay, this is important for my Aunt Mildred, who's, shall we say, mobility challenged. The website claims accessibility is on point. There's an elevator – crucial, given my fear of stairs after that aforementioned family vacation (long story). Now, that elevator, bless its heart, was a bit… temperamental. One minute it's happily ascending, the next it's deciding to become a steel coffin of uncertainty. I found myself whispering comforting words to it, like one does to a stressed-out Chihuahua. Definitely check on the elevator situation before you book if serious mobility is a factor. The rest seemed okay - wide hallways, ramps where needed - but you know, my experience with elevators has now made me question everything.
Rooms: The Sanctum (Maybe?)
- Cleanliness and safety: This is where things started looking up. The room was immaculate. Seriously, gleaming. And after hearing my mother cough for three days straight, the "Anti-viral cleaning products" and "Rooms sanitized between stays" reassured me. I mean, it's been a rough year, virus-wise. I actually inhaled the air deeply. It smelled… clean. Like, hospital-grade clean. I felt… hopeful.
- The Creature Comforts (AKA, the things that keep me from losing it):
- Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! Praise be! I needed that as soon as I stepped in my room. And it worked. Fast. I’m talking streaming my questionable life choices on Netflix fast.
- Air conditioning: Necessary in a Wisconsin Summer.
- Blackout curtains: A godsend. I need sleep, and sunlight is the enemy.
- Coffee/tea maker: Crucial. I’m a caffeine addict. This almost made me forget about the elevator. Almost.
- Desk: Sigh… work. But at least, the desk was usable, and had a good view out the window.
- Free bottled water: A nice touch, considering I'd probably drink sewer water at this point.
- Hair dryer: My hair is a disaster. I needed it.
- Ironing facilities: Let's be real, I never use these. My wardrobe consists of t-shirts and yoga pants.
- Mini bar: Now we're talking. I didn't see any, but it's probably a good thing. My self-control is a joke.
Dining and Drinking - Fueling the Adventure (Or Starvation, Depending on How You Look at it):
- Breakfast [buffet]: Okay, this is the classic Holiday Inn Express touch. The website says "Asian Breakfast" and "Western Breakfast" and "buffet in restaurant," but let's be real, it's kinda… generic. Scrambled eggs, questionable sausage, and an assortment of carbs. But hey, they had coffee, and I’m not complaining. I was especially grateful for the "Individually-wrapped food options" because, well, see above about needing something clean.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Yes, yes, and yes. More coffee.
Things to Do (Besides Staring at Your Room's Walls):
- Fitness center/ Gym/fitness: Ha! I saw it. I considered it. I quickly decided against it. After the family vacation, I needed to become one with the couch.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: It was there. It looked…refreshing, especially after driving for eight hours. I might have considered a dip, but then I remembered my bathing suit was still packed, and figured I'd skip the whole "awkward half-naked swim" this time.
- Things to do I had no time to find others.
- Spa/sauna: Nope. Not my scene. I'm more of a "sweat it out in the air conditioning" kind of person.
Services and Conveniences - The Perks (and the Potential Pitfalls):
- Complimentary toiletries: The mini shampoos and soaps were a nice touch, because I inevitably forget to pack my own.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was cleaned perfectly.
- Laundry service: I didn’t use it, but knowing it was there was somehow comforting.
- Business facilities Who has time for that?
Cleanliness and Safety in the COVID Era (Because Let's Be Real, It Still Matters):
- Hand sanitizer: Available everywhere.
- Masks: I saw some people wearing them, some not. Whatever floats your boat.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Good to know, especially after I witnessed my sister-in-law using the same spoon for everything.
Final Verdict - The Great Escape or the Average Stay?
Look, let's be real. The Holiday Inn Express in Iron Mountain isn't the Ritz. It's not a luxury spa resort. But it's clean, comfortable, and offers the basics. It's a solid, dependable choice if you need a place to crash after a long drive, or to recover from your relatives. And the cleanliness really did make a difference. The rooms do feel sanitized. That's important.
My Official Holiday Inn Express, Iron Mountain Recommendation:
- I'd stay here again, on balance.
- The elevator issue gave me a bit of pause.
- Take the plunge… because you need it.
Now, for a bit of salesmanship, because the internet tells me that's what I should do:
Tired of Family? Need an Escape? Your Dream Stay Awaits at the Holiday Inn Express - Iron Mountain!
Do you dream of peace? Tranquility? A place where you can breathe without someone's incessant questions echoing in your ears? Okay, maybe that's just me. But here's the deal: Our Holiday Inn Express in Iron Mountain offers sparkling clean rooms, fast Wi-Fi (essential for streaming questionable life choices), and a breakfast that kinda fuels you.
Here's what you get:
- Impeccably Clean and Comfortable Rooms: Seriously, we've got the sanitizing game down.
- Free Wi-Fi: Download ALL the movies.
- Location Location Location: Convenient to everything…eventually
Book your escape today and you could get…
- A chance to WIN a free room upgrade!
- A voucher to the local Coffee shop!
- Peace of mind!
Don't let your sanity slip away. Book your getaway to the Holiday Inn Express in Iron Mountain now! It's not fancy, it’s imperfect, it's reliable. And sometimes, that's exactly what you need.
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Carlton International Hotel, Italy - Your Dream Getaway!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is… me, attempting to wangle a decent experience out of a stay at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites in Iron Mountain, Michigan. Wish me luck. I’m gonna need it.
Day 1: Arrival, Mild Panic, and Questionable Pizza Decisions
- 1:00 PM (ish) – Arrival & Check-In: The Great Lobby Showdown.
- Okay, first impression: the lobby. Let's just say it's… functional. Clean enough, I guess? The front desk person appeared to be a teenager who’d rather be anywhere else. You know, the classic “I’m-so-over-this-job” vibe. Which, honestly, I get. Iron Mountain ain’t exactly a hotbed of excitement. My room key didn't work at first, the elevator groaned like a dying dinosaur, and I'm already questioning my life choices, but the room is acceptable.
- Quirky Observation: Is it just me, or is the "Welcome to Iron Mountain!" poster in the lobby subtly passive-aggressive? Like, "Prepare for the… thrills… of the U.P."
- Emotional Reaction: Settling in always feels like a bit of a gamble. Will the air conditioning work? Are the beds actually clean? Will I encounter any… creatures? Cross your fingers, people. Cross. Your. Fingers.
- 2:30 PM – Room Reconnaissance & Mild Disappointment.
- Okay, the room. It's… fine. Two queen beds, a desk, a TV that seems to have an ancient cable system. The view? The parking lot. Riveting. The desk chair feels like it's about to disintegrate under my weight. (And I'm not exactly Thor's bulk.) Did I pack enough snacks? Crucial life decisions.
- Messy Structure/Rambles: I hate the feeling of unpacking. It’s like, I’m already tired from the drive. I need an easy win. What's the easiest win? Pizza.
- 4:00 PM – The Quest for Pizza (and Regret).
- So, I asked the aforementioned teenager at the front desk for a pizza recommendation. He looked at me, deadpan, and said, “There's Bob's Pizza. About a mile down the road.” Oh boy. Bob's Pizza.
- Took the plunge anyway. The pizza was… pizza. Let's leave it at that. Edible, but I wouldn't write home about it. The crust was this weird, dense thing. The cheese seemed to be clinging on for dear life.
- Opinionated Language: Bob’s Pizza, you disappoint me. Really.
- Anecdote/Imperfection: On the way back to the hotel, I spilled a giant soda all over my (thankfully) dark-colored jeans. Brilliant move, me.
- 6:00 PM – Poolside Contemplation (of sorts).
- Headed down to the indoor pool. The water was lukewarm and chlorine-y. There were two kids running around, shrieking. Honestly, it wasn't relaxing.
- Emotional Reaction: The sheer mediocrity of the pool experience almost broke me. I just wanted a moment of peace. This, apparently, was not it.
- 7:00 PM – TV Trauma and the Search for Comfort Food.
- Back in the room. Channel surfing. Found a late-night infomercial for… something. Decided to order some chips and salsa from a delivery place. Ate chips and salsa in bed.
- Anecdote: Realized, about halfway through, that the salsa was suspiciously similar to the stuff they serve at the breakfast buffet. Oh well.
- 9:00 PM – Attempting Sleep. The battle has begun.
- Lights off. Curtains drawn. The hum of the air conditioner is doing it's bit. Trying to shut out the distant sounds of passing cars and the echoing laughter from down the hall. This will clearly be a marathon.
Day 2: Breakfast, Hiking, and the Eternal Question of "Is This It?"
- 7:00 AM – The Breakfast Buffet – A Cautious Approach.
- Okay, the breakfast buffet. My nemesis. Let's see what horrors await! Waffles? Hard-boiled eggs? Possibly a rogue sausage?
- Messy Structure/Rambles: The waffle maker is always the most intimidating. A terrifying, iron contraption that promises greatness but usually delivers something that's either undercooked or burnt to a crisp. I went with a bagel and some kind of pre-packaged yogurt. Safe (boring) choices.
- Anecdote: I witnessed a toddler try to steal a whole, untouched banana and run off with it to his waiting parents. It was both hilarious and slightly unsettling.
- 8:30 AM – Hiking the Pine Mountain Trails – Almost Worth It.
- Drove to Pine Mountain. The views were pretty stunning! The air was crisp. The scenery was… well, the scenery. It wasn’t bad.
- Doubling Down on a Single Experience: The hike itself was harder than I anticipated. There were some steep inclines. I was wearing the wrong shoes. My calves were screaming. By the end of it, I was panting like a dog. But, damn it, I did it. The brief moment of feeling like I wasn’t a complete couch potato? Priceless.
- Emotional Reaction: The moment of getting to the top, there was a fleeting sense of accomplishment. Maybe I’m not a complete failure. Maybe there is still hope for me.
- 11:00 AM – Souvenir Shopping (Desperate Times, Desperate Measures).
- Decided to browse the local souvenir shops. Bought a t-shirt that said "I Heart Iron Mountain". (I do not, in fact, heart Iron Mountain, but hey, gotta have a souvenir).
- 12:00 PM – Lunch Decision: Failure to Launch.
- Tried to find a decent lunch spot. Everything looked either closed or… unappealing. Ended up back at the hotel. Ate the rest of my chips and salsa.
- 1:00 PM – Return to The Room: The Final Breakdown.
- Back in the room. The afternoon sun is casting a very unforgiving light on the carpet. The air conditioning is now making a new and interesting noise. I think I'm starting to break down.
- 2:00 PM - Checkout!
- Goodbye, Iron Mountain! Goodbye, Holiday Inn Express!
Overall Assessment:
This trip was a rollercoaster of mediocrity and mild internal despair. The hotel was… fine. Iron Mountain? Well, it has its charm. Would I go back? Probably not. Would I recommend it? Probably not. But hey, at least I’ve got a t-shirt. And the memory of that pizza. (Shudder.)
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Les Deux Girafes, France - Your Dream Vacation Awaits!
Escape to Iron Mountain: Your Dream Stay... (Well, *Maybe*?) - Holiday Inn Express Edition
So, what *exactly* is this "Escape to Iron Mountain" thing? Sounds... dramatic.
Okay, deep breaths. "Escape to Iron Mountain" is basically the marketing lingo for... a stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Iron Mountain, Michigan. Catchy, right? I picture myself, like, scaling a cliff face, not checking my email in a room with a slightly wonky Wi-Fi signal. My expectations… were *high*. You know? Like, the "escape" part implied adventure, a rustic cabin vibe, maybe a friendly bear offering me breakfast (okay, maybe not). Reality? It's a perfectly decent, perfectly *Holiday Inn Express* experience. No bears. Just a complimentary continental breakfast that looked suspiciously like it had been sitting out since, well, I don't want to think about it. But hey, it was free! And the coffee was… coffee. So, there's that.
Is the location actually any good? I mean, is Iron Mountain worth escaping *to*?
Alright, here's the honest truth: Iron Mountain is… quaint. Let's go with quaint. It's got that charming small-town feel, which can either be wonderfully relaxing or a little… slow. Depends on your mood. We stayed there mostly to see the falls and hike some trails. The falls were *gorgeous*! I actually took about 40 photos! The trails... well, let's just say my legs still remember them. They were pretty intense, and I, in my infinite wisdom, wore my *not-hiking* shoes. Big mistake. HUGE. Learned that lesson the hard way, slipping and sliding down a particularly muddy incline. (Mortifying, but also, I survived!) So yeah, Iron Mountain? Worth a visit? Absolutely. Just pack the right shoes and manage your expectations. It's not the Swiss Alps, but it has its own quiet charm. Plus, there was a pretty decent brewery in town. Essential information, right?
Let's talk about the Holiday Inn Express itself. What's the deal?
Okay, the hotel. It's… a Holiday Inn Express. You know the drill. Clean rooms, comfy beds (yay!), a slightly-too-firm pillow situation (boo!), and the aforementioned continental breakfast. I'd give it a solid 6.5 out of 10. The staff were super friendly and helpful, genuinely lovely people. They even gave me extra towels because, you know, hiking in the mud. (Don't ask.) There was a pool! And I’m not usually a pool person, but it was hot that week. I dipped in and it was all very relaxing... until a kid started cannon-balling right next to me. Seriously, the splash! Almost lost my glasses. So, mixed feelings on the pool.
The breakfast... You mentioned it. Elaborate.
Oh, the breakfast. Where do I even begin? It was… the breakfast you expect. Waffles (yay!), bagels (meh), hard-boiled eggs (always questionable… and probably from the day before), cereal (standard), and fruit (mostly apples and oranges. No exciting fruit, sadly). The coffee, as I said, was coffee. Drinkable, but not life-changing. The highlight? I’m going to be brutally honest. The highlight was the waffle maker. It was glorious! I made approximately… four waffles. They were crispy and delicious and totally worth the slight guilt I felt from the sheer volume of syrup I consumed. I should have gone for extra syrup, I think it was under-appreciated. But the waffles? Amazing, so amazing that I decided to not venture out for lunch.
Anything else about the room or the experience? Any downsides?
Okay, downsides. Let's be real, there's always something. The Wi-Fi was… patchy. Keep that in mind if you need to work. There was also a slight noise issue. I swear, I heard someone pacing above my room ALL night, which caused me to NOT sleep at all. Every so often, some tiny little cough and sniffle sounds would resonate from the other rooms. I swear I’d get up in the middle of the night, and I’d hear this... cough… sniffle… cough… and I'd have to go to the bathroom. Then I'd go back and again… the same sounds! Really, it’s a running joke with my partner now. We still laugh about it.
And here's another thing: The bathroom fan was a bit… enthusiastic. Sounded like a jet engine taking off. But hey, at least it worked, right? And the AC was very loud! But, I would have still taken the trip and done it all over again.
Would you recommend this "Escape to Iron Mountain" experience?
Okay, here's the verdict: If you're looking for a truly *epic* escape, maybe lower your expectations a smidge. But if you're looking for a comfortable base camp for exploring a charming, slightly off-the-beaten-path area, then absolutely, yeah, go for it. Holiday Inn Express? It's a solid, reliable choice. Iron Mountain itself? Worth a visit, especially if you love the outdoors. Expect a good time. Expect some things to not go as planned. Expect to be able to look back and enjoy it all at the end of it. I definitely recommend the waffles. Go make your own memories!
